Saturday Sample: She’s Just Not Into You

 Rodolpho walked alone this night. Normally, he would’ve been playing spin the bottle with his other male feminist friends while they all pretended to be girls. Tonight however, Rodolpho only had Burlybutch on his mind. Rodolpho’s last encounter with her was a memory he cherished daily. He reminisced about the multiple blows to his face, the knees to his groin and the way Burlybutch slammed his head against the wall when he tried to kiss her. Rodolpho knew he had to see her again. It was the first time a woman had ever touched him since his mother.

                       As fate would have it, Rodolpho went into an alley and beheld the sight of his beloved Burlybutch sitting down next to a dumpster with her lesbian girlfriend who was equally as unpleasant to the sight of men as Burlybutch. They were shoving their hands in each other’s pants and sniffing each other like dogs. If a man were to hear the moans of these two behemoths, they would’ve thought that there were large animals dying in that alleyway, suffering with each final breath on their way towards their end. Unlike any man with a shred of common sense, Rodolpho became aroused at the sight of two women who resembled cavemen sexually pleasuring one another.

             Rodolpho’s approach startled the pair of beasts, rousing their anger. The foolish soy boy opened his arms to embrace the pair but was met with crushing blows to his ribs. Any self-respecting man would’ve fought for his life, but Rodolpho took his beating with love and affection only an imbecile could comprehend. Burlybutch went behind and grabbed Rodolpho’s arms while her lover punched his midsection repeatedly. They lifted him high into the air and shoved him in a trash can. Burlybutch rolled the trashcan onto the street, hitting a nearby police car with it. Upon realizing their error, the pair ran off as the officer exited the vehicle. Rodolpho, unfortunately, was immediately handcuffed and shoved into the back of the police car. Rodolpho thought to himself that this was what he considered his first threesome as he was driven off to jail.

Until the next daydream……..

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